No Turning Back Now

Just about to head out to the Capitol and I wanted to leave one last note before I leave. If I don't make it, please give my Big Boy bank to Justin Bieber to let him know that I'm his #1 fan, and bury the rest in a time capsule with episodes of Pacific Blue on DVD. This will be my legacy.

Definitely nervous about people finding out that I'm not REALLY front page news, but hopefully it takes them a few weeks to uncover that surprise. Despite the nerves, however, I have my game face on this morning 100%. I'm channeling my power animal and I've got a clip here that lets all of the challengers and naysayers know that it's on. Caaaaan yooooou dig iiiiiiiit?

See ya when I see ya!

OHMMMM!

Stopped by my local Moosejaw Mountaneering and Backcountry Travel outlet in East Lansing this afternoon for some last minute temporary tattoos and bumper stickers. While I was there, I used my foil antlers to supercharge myself full of madness. Coincidentally, that's also what they call it when you take LSD and eat a bucket of PopRocks.

The staff was awesome, as always, and wished me luck on my journey. No better well-wishers to have on my side than some certified Mad Men.

At this point, the bike is ready to go, the letter is packed, I've eaten 14 porterhouse steaks, and packed my spare set of support-hose for the trip.

15 Minutes of AWESOME!

Holy H! Lansing State Journal is totally doing me a solid and covering my ride. Here are the basics of the article.

1. They call me a "Lansing MAN"

2. They explain that my bicycle is blue

3. They describe that some idiot decided to ride his bike to Detroit on a whim.

All in all, LSJ is awesome for doing this. Plus, you can't call me a boy anymore, MOM! I'm a Lansing Man!

Check out the article HERE

Check out some cute cats HERE

Here's the Rundown (Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Sorry for the late update folks. I woke up this morning after my wolf attack and I only had ripped shreds of my clothes left. We're getting down to the wire, though. Tomorrow at 8 I make my bicycle trip down to my favorite Panera Bread in Madison Heights, MI. It's exciting that I'll get to stop by the Moosejaw Headquarters, as well, to check on the job I interviewed for. It would be awesome to have some people meet up along the way for any distance they can muster. Or mustard. I would love if someone brought me some French's. Either way, here is a list of guaranteed stops along the way and some estimated timez as well.

8:00am - Leave from the Michigan State Capitol

8:15am - Stop at the East Lansing Moosejaw for a Lil Picture (concert by a rapper of that name)

10:00am - Have a beer at Michigan Brewing Company in Webberville with my support crew

12:00pm - Halfway point on Grand River Ave.

2:30pm - Stop at Moosejaw Mountaineering in Birmingham, MI to say hi to the staff

3:00pm - Hand in follow up letter at Moosejaw HQ in Madison Heights

3:30pm - Ice my butt and take a nap on Moosejaw's front lawn

Get the job? Ball's in your court, Moosejaw.

And then I was all like "AWOOOOOOO!"

Full moon tonight ya'll!! I saw Earth's night light looking so bright up there and I thought the aliens had seen my blog and were coming to see me about a job offer. I'm lying, I knew it was the moon. I just want you guys to like me. Either way, if you're anything like me, you think of one thing when you see a full moon: Teen Wolf! I know you probably think this is gonna turn into a joke, but I'll be honest, I just kinda dove head first into this one without a plan. So we're gonna improv this. Can't be too hard, though. I mean, it's a movie about a werewolf with a thirst, not for blood, but for SLAM DUNKS! Ok, got it. Overcoming adversity. When I think about this bike ride, I realize there are a lot of obstacles in my way and people who would tell me I can't do this. Well I bet Scott Howard felt pretty similar to me when he realized his dad's werewolf gene hadn't skipped a generation.

The point is, I haven't had a lot of time to plan for this, but you don't have a lot of time to plan for werewolf puberty either! That doesn't mean we can't still win state! So starting tomorrow, we're getting back to basics. Posts about my training, my schedule, and my inner madness.

See ya in the morning!

Daily Lesson in Madness Part Deux

In so many aspects of life, confidence can be your key to success. Be it pursuing a job, getting the girl, or picking out the right cat litter, confidence in yourself can go a long way. Now I'm not advocating you be cocky and self-absorbed. Nay, I am merely saying that in this hunt for the Madness Maker position, I really believe that I fit, not only the professional, but the more undefinable characteristics of the posting as well. It's about being proud in your skillz (<-- RAD!) and just being the best Madness Maker that you know how to be. As my good friend Stuart Smalley once said

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and Gosh Darnit, people like me."

To be honest, Stuart Smalley was a guess. I also had a doubt that it may have actually been the "Set it, and forget it" guy from those infomercials. Anywho, the point is people, this whole ride was really just started as one more hopeful attempt to prove that I'm right for the People's Republic of Moosejaw.

As I said yesterday, when I see little inspirations, I want to share them with my readers to hopefully pass on the knowledge that those fine role models have passed down to me.

For today's topic, I wanted someone that could really illustrate what it means to be confident. I wanted someone who walks with purpose and knows that he has the skills to pay the bills. Now I know what you're thinking... and you're exactly right! It is Sho'Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem from the 1985 Oscar Award-Winning tale The Last Dragon. Mr. Nuff can walk into a room like he owns the place, but not because he's cocky. He is able to do this because it is clear from his outfit and shutter shades that he actually IS the man. So, whether it be a Madness Maker position, or the risk of being confident enough to buy Mr. Pibb instead of Dr. Pepper, stand tall. If the question comes up about whether or not you're the man for the job, answer with a resounding "SHO NUFF!"

Listen up Ya'll

Can I be real with you, Blogosphere? Real real? Real real, son? Alright then.

A very wise lady in my life brought a great point to my attention today. Recently, I think all the #MMShowdown business has gotten a lot of people thinking that this is a competition between @missIve and myself to "win" this job. Although she would be a formidable foe, this is just not the case. She simply raised the bar, and made me say to myself "Oh, word?" about the effort I should be showing.

What this ride is really about is proving that I will do crazy things to get this job. Like Britney Spears, hit single "Crazy," things. Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna train twice as hard as before. So expect even MORE cat-based weight training. Only now, think "I would hire Sam" rather than "Sam is better." I enjoy my bed and getting to watch Tiny Toons every morning, so respect to Tent Girl and her struggle.

Furthermore, this epiphany really got me thinking about the Pros and Cons of Moosejaw hiring me as a Madness Maker. I really think I could be awesome at this job, however, I'm not too proud to admit there could be some negative effects. People say "A picture is worth a thousand words." They also say "Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk." So instead of bullet points, let's make these pictures do the talking:

I'm with you guys on this. I don't want people's heads to burst into flames, but the allure of madness-induced World Peace is just too tempting isn't it? Although I'm not saying World Peace is a realistic dream, I promise to Moosejaw that I'd be ambitious enough to try. Seriously, this is a dream job, and I'd go nuts to get it. Like the always say:

"Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you've fired a warning shot, and the Moon knows not to mess with you anymore."

Daily Lesson in Madness

Throughout this whole experience, I've been motivated by the same thing that motivates most of my actions: Pure, unadulterated, madness. I draw most of my motivation from important motivational individuals that helped to shape my formative years. Each day, I would like to inspire the rest of you mad individuals out there with a video clip to keep us going.

Today's video comes to us from my good friend, Billy Jack. Billy is a no nonsense cat. He values good morals, clean living, and a good Thwappin' kick to the side of your face. All things that are important to a Madness Maker. If you're anything like me or Billy, then when you think of someone else getting this job, You. Just. Go. BERSERK!

I'm not telling you to take Billy's lessons literally. It's more of a deep metaphor. What's that metaphor you ask? Get on board with the madness, or you will get karate chopped and thrown through a plate glass window. Deep, deep stuff.

Time to Start Training

You read articles every day about getting away from modern machines and weights in exchange for a more "primal" workout plan. Since I take this little journey of mine very seriously, I'm not about to take any risks.

That's why I woke up this morning to partake in a little bit of "Cat Curling." I find they're a much more dynamic weight lifting experience. Kind of like a furry shake-weight. To get inspiration, I've been watching my favorite movie, "Over the Top," with Sylvester Stallone. I'm jotting down tips on how to turn my baseball cap backwards with meaning and get what I believe to be mine through force. These lessons are timeless, Sly.

Since vanity is all part of the image, I posted an action shot from this morning's gun-polishing session.

And so it begins.

Last week, I interviewed for the Madness Maker position at Moosejaw. Needless to say, this is the most awesome job ever. Here's the rundown of how the job would go:

Sam's Home Life: Play on Twitter and Facebook all day, telling people about my life.

Sam's Job at MJ: Work on Twitter and Facebook all day, telling people about the awesome company I work for.

In the posting, they asked for 1-2 years of experience. Luckily for me, I have 24 years of experience trying to be entertaining and engaging. I also have 5 years of experience as a middle school tuba player and 7 hours of experience as a David Bowie cover band singer. Those last two may, or may not, be relevant to the job. It really depends on how I could find ways to tie them in.

SO, by now you're probably wondering where this showdown comes in. You're also probably wondering what I ate for breakfast. Well I'll tell you about both really quickly. From what I could tell, the interview seemed to have gone great. I was excited about my chances and excited about having met Robot Dog, but then…

…Dun, Dun, DUUUUN! I log onto Twitter today, and I find out some young lady is attempting to get an interview for my same job by refusing to come inside from her tent until Ole Moosejaw comes a callin'. Well not so fast, Tent Girl! I've seen Independence Day 9 times and when Bill Pullman told me "We will not go quietly into the night," I listened. I. Listened.

So after 30-35 minutes of well thought out planning, I fully committed to riding 90 miles from Lansing to Madison Heights to personally deliver my interview follow up. Not only will I be able to show my dedication, but I'll also be able to get one of those butt bruises I've been hearing about.

Here are the facts:

1. As of today, my previous longest ride is 30 miles. This ride is 90 miles.

2. I will be leaving from the Michigan State Capitol on Friday, April 30th at 7:00am.

3. My lovely girlfriend will be acting as my support crew/photographer/french kisser by meeting me at several locations along the way.

4. This is not a good idea.

5. I will personally deliver my two copies of follow up letter, which I will have carried on the entire journey.

6. I will be chronicling this entire journey and the week prior on this blog, Twitter, and Facebook.

7. I live with my parents and need this job.

8. My bike is BLUE.

9. This is NOT a good idea.

Please check back often for updates on my preparation and feel free to help out in any way you can. Finally, if anyone has any clue how to fix a Game Genie for the Original Nintendo, I am trying to beat Zelda and having some trouble.

Oh, and I had birthday cake for breakfast. I live on the edge.

Love the Madness!