Thanks, Guys. Tanks.

I've been meaning to post this entry up for some time now, but I started building a Lego house and things got way out of control. I mean, building a roof with Lincoln Logs is easy, but it's a total disaster with Legos. You'd think the people of LegoLand would spend less time traveling to space and perfecting submarine travel, and more time developing realistic domiciles with standard roofs.

OK, back on message. I just wanted to add this quick post to do a simple, yet super dooper important, update. Thank Yous!

I certainly didn't get the job at Moosejaw on my own, so I'd like to thank the following people:

• Gary, Dori, Robert, and Eoin at Moosejaw: Really, I wanna thank the whole staff, but you guys trusted that I'm not just some idiot. That's amazing. Albeit wrong, but still amazing.

• My Bosses at Playmakers: You guys may be the only people I've ever worked for that would let someone publicly campaign for a job while employed by your company. So awesome.

• My Family: Apparently I learned everything I know from these animals. I attribute most of my success in this endeavor to the rollerblades you guys got me for Christmas in 7th grade.

• My Girlfriend: Driving SAG, not complaining when blogging took precedent over smooch time, taking videos of me lifting cats. You were my biggest fan. Thanks!

• The Crew (Pete, Tim, and AB): 11th hour flat change clinics, riding buddies, send-off support, and a few beers here and there. The Jukebox Boys really put in work for helping me in my situation...for me.

• Mt. Hope Gang: The original middle school crew that handled the media section and important Lost episode viewing for me.

• Louis Anderson: Anything funny that I have ever said was stolen from the cartoon show "Life with Louis"

• Donny Most: Actually, it's Don Most now.

• Nic Cage: I know it's been a long year for us, Nic. Thanks for taking all of my late night calls and having the faith in me to steal the Declaration of Independence if it came to that. We lucked out this time, but don't count us out just yet.

I'm sure I've forgotten a ton of people, because everyone who wished me luck or told me I sucked was just as important.

Champs-Élysées

Since it seems only my friends subscribe to my blog, this stands to be the most anti-climactic announcement ever. However, for those of you who don't know, don't think this means we're not friends. I'll post happy birthday on your wall to prove it. Pinkie* swear. Of course, what I'm getting at is the most insanely good news I have gotten in quite some time.

I GOT THE JOB! DETROIT, WHAT?! DETROIT WHAT?!

Ok. Phew, I'm cooled down now. I lost my composure for a minute there. I couldn't really help it, though. I've had to keep that little nugget to myself for too long. Do you know how many times people can ask if you got a job? Holding that in was as difficult as drinking six cups of coffee, eating a KFC Double-Down, and then attempting to race a marathon. EXACTLY that hard, only metaphorically. You can't just tell someone they've gotten their dream job and then make them sit on it. I mean, legally you can, but... cold-blooded.

Needless to say, I'm super dee duper stoked about this. I think it's gonna be a huge challenge, but I'm ready to just get really crazy with it and hit the ground running. Honestly though, I'm not gonna have a LOT of time to think about the job right now. I've only got two weeks until I start and I have to work out a schedule for my wacky hats to wear to the office. I read in Forbes that good businessmen "wear a lot of different hats." So, seriously, I have bought, like, a ridiculous amount of headwear over the past weekend. Foam cowboy hats, Cat in the hat-hat's, Jester style hats, Trucker hats. All of them. So look out, CEO!

This honestly feels like one of the biggest victories in my life, so far. I will actually have a business card that says "Moosejaw Madness Maker," I will get to make jokes for a career, and I'll be working with a hilarious and ridiculously talented group. Super jazzed about it. Anyway, since it's like a victory, I rode a blue bicycle, and because I wanted to sound athletic and smart, I made the title of this entry a Tour De France reference. That was so Raven of me.

Anyway, at this point I'm just rambling. I just wanted to sum up what this whole experience has been like. Then I realized they had already made a movie montage years ago that PERFECTLY summed up my journey from beginning to end. And guess what? Here it is!

Love the Madness!

*Pinky is considered a misspelling, but Pinkie is not. I don't think we're ready to make that decision, spellcheck. We put em both in the dictionary, so just back off

I'm a man of my Word

Here's the deal, everyone. A few weeks ago, I promised to steal the Declaration of Independence if I didn't get this job. Well I'm a man of my word! I've been informed that I should hear the final outcome of the interview process today, and I've been preparing all night. I've watched both National Treasure movies and numerous episodes of "Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers" to hone my thieving skills.

Both strategies involve a witty sidekick, so I'm going to be taking applications for that. I also realize that I'm not going to be able to pull this off without a tuxedo and a leather jacket. Other than that, the whole process seems rather easy. I dress up for a fancy gala, talk in to an ear-piece, yada yada yada, I've stolen the declaration. So as you can see, I'm very serious.

I hope you're listening, Moosejaw. If you ever want to see the world's most spectacular treasure, you know who to hire. However, if YOU'RE watching, FBI and scary movie villian, you're already too late.

You have 24 hours (Or however long you need)

To Infinity, and Beyond!

(Disclaimer: If you didn't find this entry funny, you can blame my girlfriend. I wanted to write an entry about how I accidentally trapped a fart in my car yesterday. When I came back 30 minutes later, it was just hanging out like I'd told it not to go anywhere. I mean, it was like it hadn't subsided at all! I think it's a great narrative on the industrial revolution, but she told me adults don't find farts funny. Well if farts and believing in Santa are wrong, then baby, I don't wanna be right.)

We'll be waiting for your call

I'm a Total Sap (That's what Tree Said)

Recently, I've had a lot of time to reflect more on HOW badly I want this job, and how fun the entire experience has been for me. The whole experience of people supporting my madness and getting to see how Moosejaw works from the inside is really something that I would have only dreamed about a month ago. That's really strange, because normally I just have a recurring dream where I'm a delicious hamburger, but I'm also a vegetarian, for moral reasons. It's such a paradox, because I know I'm delicious, and act cocky about how tasty I am, but I hate myself for being made of cute cows. This is my nightmare. So naturally, getting to live a real dream of feeling like I'm a small part of Moosejaw has just been WAY more awesome than that.

Seriously though, I'm in bad shape, peeps. Right now, Moosejaw is like that girl you totally wanna get with, but she's thinking about seeing someone else. Every time an unknown phone number calls, I think it could be "The Call" (Not a Backstreet Boys ref). I check up on Moosejaw just to see how they're doing and if they've been thinking about me too. If they choose another path I'll listen to sad songs and read "the new guy's" tweets, like he's with my #1 girl. It's really an airtight reference and a peek into how weird I am about dating. Double Bonus!

Irregardless! No regrets! If they do call, I'll be like Billy Joel and have a heart attack-ack-ack-ack, and if they don't I'll be sad. Either way, the company is always gonna be awesome, and ya know what? I feel a lot more awesome from this whole experience too. Last time I checked, my boy Steve Covey would call that a Win-Win.

However, I do not want to underplay how much I would miss getting to be a part of Moosejaw. It's hard to put those feelings into words, so I'm going to leave that to my good friend, Mr. Conway Twitty.

Copy Cat

When I woke up to my Straight Outta Compton alarm clock this morning, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. At first, I thought it had something to do with the all of the paper I had ingested from eating candy dots last night. Then I realized that it was nerves fro the fact that I am still anxiously awaiting news from Moosejaw on the Madness Maker position.

Since my interview, I have essentially thought about nothing else. When you think a job is tailor-made for you, you tend to spend a lot of time and energy trying to secure said job. A lot of people might think that my ride was enough to show my passion for the position, but I've convinced myself that I need to do more. However, it's 2010 and I'm just too busy to maintain my current job and come up with new antics at the same time. That's why I have chosen to adopt some best practices from fellow candidates.

I am continually impressed by the impact that Outdoor Strike had on Moosejaw with it's detailing of Jen's camping adventures. So I thought to myself, "That looks like something I could do!" However, my tent was wet and when I put it in the dryer, I somehow managed to shrink it.

So, although it was short-lived, I hope my 45 minute strike can be the cherry on top of my interview process. Times were pretty rough for me during those 45 minutes, and it's indicative of the sacrifices I'm willing to make for this job.

After I survived the repeated attacks from numerous curious squirrels and rabbits, I managed to capture a snapshot of my living quarters during the strike. As you can see, I wasn't exactly "roughing it."

Exclusive Footage

It has been a long few days since I arrived at Moosejaw HQ. Ever since I got back, I've been pacing around and nervously shaving my chest hair into various Disney characters to keep my mind off of the anticipation.

Another very formidable candidate has her interview today, which has me significantly more antsy than normal. My paranoia, coupled with the likelihood to which I would steal American historical documents to obtain this job, has got me a little on edge. This whole process really had me second guessing how my interview really went this morning. I always feel as though they didn't get a clear picture of my inner "Sam-ness." Luckily, I happened to stumble upon some lost interview footage from my visit last week. As you can see, it goes EXTREMELY well.

Here's to hoping they saw it the same way.

Goin Hollywood on Em

When Bobby DeNiro first approached me about producing an amateur documentary with low-quality cameras and material I said "Look, B-Train. I'd love to, but it's just not gonna work." That was until John Chu (Director of Step up 2: The Streets) signed on to direct. I quickly compiled my favorite song for a backing track, some hodge podge photographs, and video footage shot exclusively on Flip cams. Now I know what you're thinking "Oh, is this the movie I've been hearing all the Oscar buzz about?" Yes, it is. However, we're not going to submit for consideration because we feel it compromises the integrity of what we're trying to accomplish here. This is all for a great cause. We want to selfishly flood the social media lines with sub-par entertainment in order to secure a job position for me. Isn't that the American dream, though?

The ride was a long journey and I'm still full from all of the bugs I've eaten. I was pushed to make this film from the support of all of you who were kind enough to tell me to get on the f**king sidewalk during my ride. You guys made this possible.

I was going to post footage from my interpretive dance class/Kenny Loggins concert, but I accidentally taped over it with footage from the ride. I was too tired to ask Kenny to sing again, so this is what you get. Hope you like it!