I'm a man of my Word

Here's the deal, everyone. A few weeks ago, I promised to steal the Declaration of Independence if I didn't get this job. Well I'm a man of my word! I've been informed that I should hear the final outcome of the interview process today, and I've been preparing all night. I've watched both National Treasure movies and numerous episodes of "Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers" to hone my thieving skills.

Both strategies involve a witty sidekick, so I'm going to be taking applications for that. I also realize that I'm not going to be able to pull this off without a tuxedo and a leather jacket. Other than that, the whole process seems rather easy. I dress up for a fancy gala, talk in to an ear-piece, yada yada yada, I've stolen the declaration. So as you can see, I'm very serious.

I hope you're listening, Moosejaw. If you ever want to see the world's most spectacular treasure, you know who to hire. However, if YOU'RE watching, FBI and scary movie villian, you're already too late.

You have 24 hours (Or however long you need)

To Infinity, and Beyond!

(Disclaimer: If you didn't find this entry funny, you can blame my girlfriend. I wanted to write an entry about how I accidentally trapped a fart in my car yesterday. When I came back 30 minutes later, it was just hanging out like I'd told it not to go anywhere. I mean, it was like it hadn't subsided at all! I think it's a great narrative on the industrial revolution, but she told me adults don't find farts funny. Well if farts and believing in Santa are wrong, then baby, I don't wanna be right.)

We'll be waiting for your call