Thanks, Guys. Tanks.

I've been meaning to post this entry up for some time now, but I started building a Lego house and things got way out of control. I mean, building a roof with Lincoln Logs is easy, but it's a total disaster with Legos. You'd think the people of LegoLand would spend less time traveling to space and perfecting submarine travel, and more time developing realistic domiciles with standard roofs.

OK, back on message. I just wanted to add this quick post to do a simple, yet super dooper important, update. Thank Yous!

I certainly didn't get the job at Moosejaw on my own, so I'd like to thank the following people:

• Gary, Dori, Robert, and Eoin at Moosejaw: Really, I wanna thank the whole staff, but you guys trusted that I'm not just some idiot. That's amazing. Albeit wrong, but still amazing.

• My Bosses at Playmakers: You guys may be the only people I've ever worked for that would let someone publicly campaign for a job while employed by your company. So awesome.

• My Family: Apparently I learned everything I know from these animals. I attribute most of my success in this endeavor to the rollerblades you guys got me for Christmas in 7th grade.

• My Girlfriend: Driving SAG, not complaining when blogging took precedent over smooch time, taking videos of me lifting cats. You were my biggest fan. Thanks!

• The Crew (Pete, Tim, and AB): 11th hour flat change clinics, riding buddies, send-off support, and a few beers here and there. The Jukebox Boys really put in work for helping me in my situation...for me.

• Mt. Hope Gang: The original middle school crew that handled the media section and important Lost episode viewing for me.

• Louis Anderson: Anything funny that I have ever said was stolen from the cartoon show "Life with Louis"

• Donny Most: Actually, it's Don Most now.

• Nic Cage: I know it's been a long year for us, Nic. Thanks for taking all of my late night calls and having the faith in me to steal the Declaration of Independence if it came to that. We lucked out this time, but don't count us out just yet.

I'm sure I've forgotten a ton of people, because everyone who wished me luck or told me I sucked was just as important.

Champs-Élysées

Since it seems only my friends subscribe to my blog, this stands to be the most anti-climactic announcement ever. However, for those of you who don't know, don't think this means we're not friends. I'll post happy birthday on your wall to prove it. Pinkie* swear. Of course, what I'm getting at is the most insanely good news I have gotten in quite some time.

I GOT THE JOB! DETROIT, WHAT?! DETROIT WHAT?!

Ok. Phew, I'm cooled down now. I lost my composure for a minute there. I couldn't really help it, though. I've had to keep that little nugget to myself for too long. Do you know how many times people can ask if you got a job? Holding that in was as difficult as drinking six cups of coffee, eating a KFC Double-Down, and then attempting to race a marathon. EXACTLY that hard, only metaphorically. You can't just tell someone they've gotten their dream job and then make them sit on it. I mean, legally you can, but... cold-blooded.

Needless to say, I'm super dee duper stoked about this. I think it's gonna be a huge challenge, but I'm ready to just get really crazy with it and hit the ground running. Honestly though, I'm not gonna have a LOT of time to think about the job right now. I've only got two weeks until I start and I have to work out a schedule for my wacky hats to wear to the office. I read in Forbes that good businessmen "wear a lot of different hats." So, seriously, I have bought, like, a ridiculous amount of headwear over the past weekend. Foam cowboy hats, Cat in the hat-hat's, Jester style hats, Trucker hats. All of them. So look out, CEO!

This honestly feels like one of the biggest victories in my life, so far. I will actually have a business card that says "Moosejaw Madness Maker," I will get to make jokes for a career, and I'll be working with a hilarious and ridiculously talented group. Super jazzed about it. Anyway, since it's like a victory, I rode a blue bicycle, and because I wanted to sound athletic and smart, I made the title of this entry a Tour De France reference. That was so Raven of me.

Anyway, at this point I'm just rambling. I just wanted to sum up what this whole experience has been like. Then I realized they had already made a movie montage years ago that PERFECTLY summed up my journey from beginning to end. And guess what? Here it is!

Love the Madness!

*Pinky is considered a misspelling, but Pinkie is not. I don't think we're ready to make that decision, spellcheck. We put em both in the dictionary, so just back off

I'm a man of my Word

Here's the deal, everyone. A few weeks ago, I promised to steal the Declaration of Independence if I didn't get this job. Well I'm a man of my word! I've been informed that I should hear the final outcome of the interview process today, and I've been preparing all night. I've watched both National Treasure movies and numerous episodes of "Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers" to hone my thieving skills.

Both strategies involve a witty sidekick, so I'm going to be taking applications for that. I also realize that I'm not going to be able to pull this off without a tuxedo and a leather jacket. Other than that, the whole process seems rather easy. I dress up for a fancy gala, talk in to an ear-piece, yada yada yada, I've stolen the declaration. So as you can see, I'm very serious.

I hope you're listening, Moosejaw. If you ever want to see the world's most spectacular treasure, you know who to hire. However, if YOU'RE watching, FBI and scary movie villian, you're already too late.

You have 24 hours (Or however long you need)

To Infinity, and Beyond!

(Disclaimer: If you didn't find this entry funny, you can blame my girlfriend. I wanted to write an entry about how I accidentally trapped a fart in my car yesterday. When I came back 30 minutes later, it was just hanging out like I'd told it not to go anywhere. I mean, it was like it hadn't subsided at all! I think it's a great narrative on the industrial revolution, but she told me adults don't find farts funny. Well if farts and believing in Santa are wrong, then baby, I don't wanna be right.)

We'll be waiting for your call

I'm a Total Sap (That's what Tree Said)

Recently, I've had a lot of time to reflect more on HOW badly I want this job, and how fun the entire experience has been for me. The whole experience of people supporting my madness and getting to see how Moosejaw works from the inside is really something that I would have only dreamed about a month ago. That's really strange, because normally I just have a recurring dream where I'm a delicious hamburger, but I'm also a vegetarian, for moral reasons. It's such a paradox, because I know I'm delicious, and act cocky about how tasty I am, but I hate myself for being made of cute cows. This is my nightmare. So naturally, getting to live a real dream of feeling like I'm a small part of Moosejaw has just been WAY more awesome than that.

Seriously though, I'm in bad shape, peeps. Right now, Moosejaw is like that girl you totally wanna get with, but she's thinking about seeing someone else. Every time an unknown phone number calls, I think it could be "The Call" (Not a Backstreet Boys ref). I check up on Moosejaw just to see how they're doing and if they've been thinking about me too. If they choose another path I'll listen to sad songs and read "the new guy's" tweets, like he's with my #1 girl. It's really an airtight reference and a peek into how weird I am about dating. Double Bonus!

Irregardless! No regrets! If they do call, I'll be like Billy Joel and have a heart attack-ack-ack-ack, and if they don't I'll be sad. Either way, the company is always gonna be awesome, and ya know what? I feel a lot more awesome from this whole experience too. Last time I checked, my boy Steve Covey would call that a Win-Win.

However, I do not want to underplay how much I would miss getting to be a part of Moosejaw. It's hard to put those feelings into words, so I'm going to leave that to my good friend, Mr. Conway Twitty.

Copy Cat

When I woke up to my Straight Outta Compton alarm clock this morning, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. At first, I thought it had something to do with the all of the paper I had ingested from eating candy dots last night. Then I realized that it was nerves fro the fact that I am still anxiously awaiting news from Moosejaw on the Madness Maker position.

Since my interview, I have essentially thought about nothing else. When you think a job is tailor-made for you, you tend to spend a lot of time and energy trying to secure said job. A lot of people might think that my ride was enough to show my passion for the position, but I've convinced myself that I need to do more. However, it's 2010 and I'm just too busy to maintain my current job and come up with new antics at the same time. That's why I have chosen to adopt some best practices from fellow candidates.

I am continually impressed by the impact that Outdoor Strike had on Moosejaw with it's detailing of Jen's camping adventures. So I thought to myself, "That looks like something I could do!" However, my tent was wet and when I put it in the dryer, I somehow managed to shrink it.

So, although it was short-lived, I hope my 45 minute strike can be the cherry on top of my interview process. Times were pretty rough for me during those 45 minutes, and it's indicative of the sacrifices I'm willing to make for this job.

After I survived the repeated attacks from numerous curious squirrels and rabbits, I managed to capture a snapshot of my living quarters during the strike. As you can see, I wasn't exactly "roughing it."

Exclusive Footage

It has been a long few days since I arrived at Moosejaw HQ. Ever since I got back, I've been pacing around and nervously shaving my chest hair into various Disney characters to keep my mind off of the anticipation.

Another very formidable candidate has her interview today, which has me significantly more antsy than normal. My paranoia, coupled with the likelihood to which I would steal American historical documents to obtain this job, has got me a little on edge. This whole process really had me second guessing how my interview really went this morning. I always feel as though they didn't get a clear picture of my inner "Sam-ness." Luckily, I happened to stumble upon some lost interview footage from my visit last week. As you can see, it goes EXTREMELY well.

Here's to hoping they saw it the same way.

Goin Hollywood on Em

When Bobby DeNiro first approached me about producing an amateur documentary with low-quality cameras and material I said "Look, B-Train. I'd love to, but it's just not gonna work." That was until John Chu (Director of Step up 2: The Streets) signed on to direct. I quickly compiled my favorite song for a backing track, some hodge podge photographs, and video footage shot exclusively on Flip cams. Now I know what you're thinking "Oh, is this the movie I've been hearing all the Oscar buzz about?" Yes, it is. However, we're not going to submit for consideration because we feel it compromises the integrity of what we're trying to accomplish here. This is all for a great cause. We want to selfishly flood the social media lines with sub-par entertainment in order to secure a job position for me. Isn't that the American dream, though?

The ride was a long journey and I'm still full from all of the bugs I've eaten. I was pushed to make this film from the support of all of you who were kind enough to tell me to get on the f**king sidewalk during my ride. You guys made this possible.

I was going to post footage from my interpretive dance class/Kenny Loggins concert, but I accidentally taped over it with footage from the ride. I was too tired to ask Kenny to sing again, so this is what you get. Hope you like it!

Hit it, Rockapella!

Hey Cats and Kittens,

Sorry about the "Where in the World is Sam Christian" feel to the blog since my ride. I've been asked to come out of retirement to fight a rogue "universal soldier" that the government has lost track of. If you're a skeptic and don't believe me, here are some other reasons I haven't been blogging.

1. I rode my bike up to 88mph and time traveled back to 1992 to ask for this job when Moosejaw started.
2. I had to defend my title as World Hard-Boiled Egg Eating Champion at the championships in Mitchell, South Dakota.
3. rideformadness was a black ops project that the US Military has now pulled the plug on.
4. There was a Saved by the Bell: The College Years marathon on
5. I had to break my router and use it as a means to power the Earth and end global warming.
6. Internet bandits stole my blog.
7. I had to go back to my home in Civil War times to finish building a rocking chair I had been meaning to build.
8. I've been really tired and maybe you guys can just lay off of me. I do other things, ya know. I can't just always be on the computer. What do you think I am? Some sort of blog machine?

Okay, I'm sorry about that last one. It's clearly a lie, and I shouldn't have tried to fool you guys. Anyway, I promise there are more pictures and videos from the ride coming as soon as I stop using a rubber donut to sit down in a couple of days.

Here's me in my chair. Really glad I finished that.

No Turning Back Now

Just about to head out to the Capitol and I wanted to leave one last note before I leave. If I don't make it, please give my Big Boy bank to Justin Bieber to let him know that I'm his #1 fan, and bury the rest in a time capsule with episodes of Pacific Blue on DVD. This will be my legacy.

Definitely nervous about people finding out that I'm not REALLY front page news, but hopefully it takes them a few weeks to uncover that surprise. Despite the nerves, however, I have my game face on this morning 100%. I'm channeling my power animal and I've got a clip here that lets all of the challengers and naysayers know that it's on. Caaaaan yooooou dig iiiiiiiit?

See ya when I see ya!

OHMMMM!

Stopped by my local Moosejaw Mountaneering and Backcountry Travel outlet in East Lansing this afternoon for some last minute temporary tattoos and bumper stickers. While I was there, I used my foil antlers to supercharge myself full of madness. Coincidentally, that's also what they call it when you take LSD and eat a bucket of PopRocks.

The staff was awesome, as always, and wished me luck on my journey. No better well-wishers to have on my side than some certified Mad Men.

At this point, the bike is ready to go, the letter is packed, I've eaten 14 porterhouse steaks, and packed my spare set of support-hose for the trip.

15 Minutes of AWESOME!

Holy H! Lansing State Journal is totally doing me a solid and covering my ride. Here are the basics of the article.

1. They call me a "Lansing MAN"

2. They explain that my bicycle is blue

3. They describe that some idiot decided to ride his bike to Detroit on a whim.

All in all, LSJ is awesome for doing this. Plus, you can't call me a boy anymore, MOM! I'm a Lansing Man!

Check out the article HERE

Check out some cute cats HERE

Here's the Rundown (Starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Sorry for the late update folks. I woke up this morning after my wolf attack and I only had ripped shreds of my clothes left. We're getting down to the wire, though. Tomorrow at 8 I make my bicycle trip down to my favorite Panera Bread in Madison Heights, MI. It's exciting that I'll get to stop by the Moosejaw Headquarters, as well, to check on the job I interviewed for. It would be awesome to have some people meet up along the way for any distance they can muster. Or mustard. I would love if someone brought me some French's. Either way, here is a list of guaranteed stops along the way and some estimated timez as well.

8:00am - Leave from the Michigan State Capitol

8:15am - Stop at the East Lansing Moosejaw for a Lil Picture (concert by a rapper of that name)

10:00am - Have a beer at Michigan Brewing Company in Webberville with my support crew

12:00pm - Halfway point on Grand River Ave.

2:30pm - Stop at Moosejaw Mountaineering in Birmingham, MI to say hi to the staff

3:00pm - Hand in follow up letter at Moosejaw HQ in Madison Heights

3:30pm - Ice my butt and take a nap on Moosejaw's front lawn

Get the job? Ball's in your court, Moosejaw.

And then I was all like "AWOOOOOOO!"

Full moon tonight ya'll!! I saw Earth's night light looking so bright up there and I thought the aliens had seen my blog and were coming to see me about a job offer. I'm lying, I knew it was the moon. I just want you guys to like me. Either way, if you're anything like me, you think of one thing when you see a full moon: Teen Wolf! I know you probably think this is gonna turn into a joke, but I'll be honest, I just kinda dove head first into this one without a plan. So we're gonna improv this. Can't be too hard, though. I mean, it's a movie about a werewolf with a thirst, not for blood, but for SLAM DUNKS! Ok, got it. Overcoming adversity. When I think about this bike ride, I realize there are a lot of obstacles in my way and people who would tell me I can't do this. Well I bet Scott Howard felt pretty similar to me when he realized his dad's werewolf gene hadn't skipped a generation.

The point is, I haven't had a lot of time to plan for this, but you don't have a lot of time to plan for werewolf puberty either! That doesn't mean we can't still win state! So starting tomorrow, we're getting back to basics. Posts about my training, my schedule, and my inner madness.

See ya in the morning!

Daily Lesson in Madness Part Deux

In so many aspects of life, confidence can be your key to success. Be it pursuing a job, getting the girl, or picking out the right cat litter, confidence in yourself can go a long way. Now I'm not advocating you be cocky and self-absorbed. Nay, I am merely saying that in this hunt for the Madness Maker position, I really believe that I fit, not only the professional, but the more undefinable characteristics of the posting as well. It's about being proud in your skillz (<-- RAD!) and just being the best Madness Maker that you know how to be. As my good friend Stuart Smalley once said

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and Gosh Darnit, people like me."

To be honest, Stuart Smalley was a guess. I also had a doubt that it may have actually been the "Set it, and forget it" guy from those infomercials. Anywho, the point is people, this whole ride was really just started as one more hopeful attempt to prove that I'm right for the People's Republic of Moosejaw.

As I said yesterday, when I see little inspirations, I want to share them with my readers to hopefully pass on the knowledge that those fine role models have passed down to me.

For today's topic, I wanted someone that could really illustrate what it means to be confident. I wanted someone who walks with purpose and knows that he has the skills to pay the bills. Now I know what you're thinking... and you're exactly right! It is Sho'Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem from the 1985 Oscar Award-Winning tale The Last Dragon. Mr. Nuff can walk into a room like he owns the place, but not because he's cocky. He is able to do this because it is clear from his outfit and shutter shades that he actually IS the man. So, whether it be a Madness Maker position, or the risk of being confident enough to buy Mr. Pibb instead of Dr. Pepper, stand tall. If the question comes up about whether or not you're the man for the job, answer with a resounding "SHO NUFF!"

Listen up Ya'll

Can I be real with you, Blogosphere? Real real? Real real, son? Alright then.

A very wise lady in my life brought a great point to my attention today. Recently, I think all the #MMShowdown business has gotten a lot of people thinking that this is a competition between @missIve and myself to "win" this job. Although she would be a formidable foe, this is just not the case. She simply raised the bar, and made me say to myself "Oh, word?" about the effort I should be showing.

What this ride is really about is proving that I will do crazy things to get this job. Like Britney Spears, hit single "Crazy," things. Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna train twice as hard as before. So expect even MORE cat-based weight training. Only now, think "I would hire Sam" rather than "Sam is better." I enjoy my bed and getting to watch Tiny Toons every morning, so respect to Tent Girl and her struggle.

Furthermore, this epiphany really got me thinking about the Pros and Cons of Moosejaw hiring me as a Madness Maker. I really think I could be awesome at this job, however, I'm not too proud to admit there could be some negative effects. People say "A picture is worth a thousand words." They also say "Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk." So instead of bullet points, let's make these pictures do the talking:

I'm with you guys on this. I don't want people's heads to burst into flames, but the allure of madness-induced World Peace is just too tempting isn't it? Although I'm not saying World Peace is a realistic dream, I promise to Moosejaw that I'd be ambitious enough to try. Seriously, this is a dream job, and I'd go nuts to get it. Like the always say:

"Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you've fired a warning shot, and the Moon knows not to mess with you anymore."

Daily Lesson in Madness

Throughout this whole experience, I've been motivated by the same thing that motivates most of my actions: Pure, unadulterated, madness. I draw most of my motivation from important motivational individuals that helped to shape my formative years. Each day, I would like to inspire the rest of you mad individuals out there with a video clip to keep us going.

Today's video comes to us from my good friend, Billy Jack. Billy is a no nonsense cat. He values good morals, clean living, and a good Thwappin' kick to the side of your face. All things that are important to a Madness Maker. If you're anything like me or Billy, then when you think of someone else getting this job, You. Just. Go. BERSERK!

I'm not telling you to take Billy's lessons literally. It's more of a deep metaphor. What's that metaphor you ask? Get on board with the madness, or you will get karate chopped and thrown through a plate glass window. Deep, deep stuff.

Time to Start Training

You read articles every day about getting away from modern machines and weights in exchange for a more "primal" workout plan. Since I take this little journey of mine very seriously, I'm not about to take any risks.

That's why I woke up this morning to partake in a little bit of "Cat Curling." I find they're a much more dynamic weight lifting experience. Kind of like a furry shake-weight. To get inspiration, I've been watching my favorite movie, "Over the Top," with Sylvester Stallone. I'm jotting down tips on how to turn my baseball cap backwards with meaning and get what I believe to be mine through force. These lessons are timeless, Sly.

Since vanity is all part of the image, I posted an action shot from this morning's gun-polishing session.

And so it begins.

Last week, I interviewed for the Madness Maker position at Moosejaw. Needless to say, this is the most awesome job ever. Here's the rundown of how the job would go:

Sam's Home Life: Play on Twitter and Facebook all day, telling people about my life.

Sam's Job at MJ: Work on Twitter and Facebook all day, telling people about the awesome company I work for.

In the posting, they asked for 1-2 years of experience. Luckily for me, I have 24 years of experience trying to be entertaining and engaging. I also have 5 years of experience as a middle school tuba player and 7 hours of experience as a David Bowie cover band singer. Those last two may, or may not, be relevant to the job. It really depends on how I could find ways to tie them in.

SO, by now you're probably wondering where this showdown comes in. You're also probably wondering what I ate for breakfast. Well I'll tell you about both really quickly. From what I could tell, the interview seemed to have gone great. I was excited about my chances and excited about having met Robot Dog, but then…

…Dun, Dun, DUUUUN! I log onto Twitter today, and I find out some young lady is attempting to get an interview for my same job by refusing to come inside from her tent until Ole Moosejaw comes a callin'. Well not so fast, Tent Girl! I've seen Independence Day 9 times and when Bill Pullman told me "We will not go quietly into the night," I listened. I. Listened.

So after 30-35 minutes of well thought out planning, I fully committed to riding 90 miles from Lansing to Madison Heights to personally deliver my interview follow up. Not only will I be able to show my dedication, but I'll also be able to get one of those butt bruises I've been hearing about.

Here are the facts:

1. As of today, my previous longest ride is 30 miles. This ride is 90 miles.

2. I will be leaving from the Michigan State Capitol on Friday, April 30th at 7:00am.

3. My lovely girlfriend will be acting as my support crew/photographer/french kisser by meeting me at several locations along the way.

4. This is not a good idea.

5. I will personally deliver my two copies of follow up letter, which I will have carried on the entire journey.

6. I will be chronicling this entire journey and the week prior on this blog, Twitter, and Facebook.

7. I live with my parents and need this job.

8. My bike is BLUE.

9. This is NOT a good idea.

Please check back often for updates on my preparation and feel free to help out in any way you can. Finally, if anyone has any clue how to fix a Game Genie for the Original Nintendo, I am trying to beat Zelda and having some trouble.

Oh, and I had birthday cake for breakfast. I live on the edge.

Love the Madness!